If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think your dad took our porno
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
