so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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