i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize