those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
