Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
