lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Randomize
