I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
