The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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