This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
