he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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