Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
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As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
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Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU