didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
naw, they were rude, not me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
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you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
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He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.