So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
