Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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