there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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