so explain again why im purple
no
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
