O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
