Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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