My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
