I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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