I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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