Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize