what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
