Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize