sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
