it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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