Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
