If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
