I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize