it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
