Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I love you. Go after that dick
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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