Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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