my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
