By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
