woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
