yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
