I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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