Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's blow job season.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
