hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
