Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
