Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
