Are we in a gay sports bar?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
