the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize