did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
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well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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