but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
