I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
