Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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