I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
