Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
