Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
