my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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