Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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