i just google imaged poop.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
