just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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