I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
