listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
