remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
