my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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