Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize