ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Boobs are out for the taking
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
